THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
