im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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