The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
