smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
