I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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