where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
