I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
