A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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