the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
