Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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