Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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