I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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