I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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