I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So many bounce houses so little time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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