I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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