So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
