I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
