M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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