So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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