We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
