awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
