i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
