Do you still have your period?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize