apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
