he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
