There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
