Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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