It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
