too bad you live with your parents still
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize