I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
