Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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