um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
