i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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