scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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