Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize