need another drink. this is the easiest way
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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