I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
