Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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