I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
