his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
