i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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