I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
