But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
