when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
