No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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