You're completely useless in the revolution.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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