That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Blood and glitter go together right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
