..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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