I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you made out with another girl for some wings
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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