He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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