You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize