Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
