He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
