I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
