Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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