I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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