bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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