Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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