Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
