Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
