honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
